I started this adventure at Newcastle Airport, the sun was just starting to rise and it was about 5am. Myself and one of my best mates, Anthony French, waste no time getting straight on the lash in the airport bar downing a few Peroni's each. Our flight to Heathrow arrives on time and we start the first of many plane beverages. The businessman sat next to us could barely contain his disgust at our rowdy behaviour on a BA flight which was clearly aimed towards the business market. We were both wearing shorts and tshirts whilst everybody else suited up and I don't think we fitted in very well - a theme throughout the holiday. Anyway, he only had to put up with us for about an hour and I got some good views of London before we landed.
Carrying on with the Geordie holiday tradition, we got in a few more pints at Terminal 5 and then catch our flight at about 9am. My mate Frenchy used to work in the aviation industry and he has a shit load of airmiles and many friends at BA. This came in rather handy as we abused the complimentary drinks on offer, Frenchy even knows where they store it and we just helped ourselves. We actually drank the whole plane out of Grolsch and we were forced to move onto Heineken... Despite being very inebriated, we managed to get past US customs without any major grief and we headed to the first of four hotels that we were gonna be staying in - Hilton LAX. We chose this hotel because it was only 5 minutes from the airport and there was a free shuttle to take us there. No need to worry about driving a hire car.
After dumping our bags, we immediately went for a dip in the pool. The weather was perfect and I ordered us a couple of Yank drinks (Bud) for us to sup in the hot tub. At this point it was getting near tea time, so I decided to jump in the shower and head out in search of food. We ended up at a bar/restaurant called the Proud Bird, there was loads of old classic planes outside and there was a good view of the LAX runway which kept my mate happy cos he's a plane geek. We downed many cocktails and other assorted drinks before moving on to Jagerbombs. The Mexican dude behind the bar had no clue what a Jagerbomb was, so obv we taught him to make it... Only issue was that the Jager was housed inside of a normal whisky glass and was full to the brim. Interesting trying to down that in one!
Anyway, it's safe to say that we were a bit mortal after a 27hour drinking session and we staggered back to the hotel. Of course, I'm a bit retarded and I only narrowly managed to avoid getting arrested by the fuzz. This LAPD cop frowned upon my road awareness; apparently it's illegal to try and cross seven lanes of traffic when the Walk sign is not illuminated. Luckily our hotel was only a hundred yards away and I suspect he couldn't be arsed with the necessary paperwork, so we got away with a stern warning.
The next day I woke up with no hangover. Score! A quick morning dip in the pool to wake me up, brunch at Denny's and then it was time to get our hire car. I booked a Corvette, but upon arrival at Hertz it was obvious that the pair of us and our massive suitcases could not fit in this car. We "upgraded" to a Dodge Challenger instead, a typical classless American muscle car. It only had 1000 miles on the clock and the 5.7l V8 engine meant there wasn't much on the road that could keep up when I put my foot down. Picture below:
Our next stop in this adventure was at Westlake Village Four Seasons. This is easily the best hotel I have ever been to in my life. The level of service was phenomenal and although I expected it to be very good, every part of the hotel exceeded my expectations. I mentioned earlier in this blog that I felt a bit out of place, this was very much the case here again. Myself and Frenchy recognised that this was a super classy hotel when we booked it and we packed suits to wear to dinner - yeah that was a good move cos literally everybody else was wearing formal gear. The food was amazing and the bar staff had great banter, I like being asked to say "when" as the bar tender pours vodka into my drink :D
I should have guessed the level of poshness when I realised that it had an art gallery, but it really hit home when I saw three Ferraris, a Ford GT, Lamborghini Gallardo and several other epic cars parked outside. I've got a million photos of the Four Seasons on Facebook, so I'm not gonna post loads on here, but I will post a picture of their beautiful waterfall feature:
Whilst we were staying at Westlake Village, we took the opportunity to visit the Ronald Reagan museum. I was forced to endure a bit of Republican propaganda bullshit, but it was worth it because I got to walk through the plane which was previously Air Force One in the 70s and 80s. There was also a replica Oval Office too and part of the Berlin Wall. On the way out, I noticed a sign stating this area was a natural habitat for rattlesnakes - didn't waste much time finding the car in the carpark! Onwards towards the coast and we stopped off at Malibu. What a beautiful place, perfect sands and pretty blue sea. Some random driving took us down a narrow street and into a carpark with a minimum $25 charge. I thought that was a bit on the pricey side for parking, but it turns out this place was called Paradise Cove and it lived up to the name. Also, we found out that if you spent $25 in the bar, the parking was free, so I enjoyed the beach with a nice cold beverage in my hand and views of hot girls wearing very little. Good times!
Although I had a fantastic time at Four Seasons, I was really excited for Vegas and this may or may not have led to some speeding down Interstate 15. It's an awesome road, long straight and nowt around for miles. A warning to anybody else that is stupid enough to drive a car that peaks at 13 miles per gallon: fill up your tank at every opportunity. You seriously don't want to break down in the middle of a desert!!
Well, this concludes part one of my trip report. The next bit is gonna be all Vegas so possibly more interesting to poker players...
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